The Fat Crawler Experience
Journal (December 2005)
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My Journal for December 2005

December 6, 2005
I just got back from my pre-op "meeting" for my thighplasty.  I drove two hours each way to fill out a form that said I didn't take any medications and do a thirty second computer survey to verify that I'm still not dying from any serious illnesses since six months ago.  That was it!  But I did stop in and chat with Michelle, the who works in the gastric bypass department.  I guess she's going to be quitting and moving at the end of the month, though she's not sure where.  I'm so jealous!  Well, I'm very happy for her that she has the guts to move on from monotany.  Wish I could say that.  But anyways, I got invited to a Christmas party at Mary and Dave's house.  I don't know for sure if I'll be up to it by then, but I'm going to try my damnedest.  I've already bought them a present and gotten a bunch of stuff for the snack I'm going to bring.  I love their parties.  They are so classy and intelligent and absolutely fun!  I seriously can't wait, so that's probably the biggest incentive I have to jump right back into life as quickly as possible after the surgery.  I always have nightmares about anesthesia for about a week before my surgeries, probably because of the horrible experiences I've had with it in the past.  I had another one last night, dreaming that they tried to put me under, but I wouldn't stay asleep more than a few seconds, but they didn't notice and had started cutting.  I know it was a dream, but I keep thinking about it.  I don't know why.  I've been so busy doing fundraising for Sacred Heart (the Catholic school where my little sister goes, and where I went when I was younger), that I haven't even been able to think about anything else.  I sat in front of a grocery store with Tyrone last Saturday for five hours selling chocolate bars, and I've spent two days creating and distributing donation coin drop buckets to put out in the area.  The school is in desperate danger of closing, possibly within the next few weeks, so it's been imperative that I help.  I can't just let it go down without a big fight.  I have a lot of history there, as a lot of people in the community do, so it has become a big thing in my life right now.  On top of that, the Christmas choir is going swimmingly.  I have a soprano solo that I think will be a breeze.  Bruno is going to come to both the mass and then for the holiday at my house.  It must be so awful to be in another strange country for the holidays, but it's probably not as big of a deal where he's from, anyway, so he might even feel lucky for the cultural experience.  I'll have to ask him how it's all going, but we've both been so busy lately that we haven't had much time to talk.  Sunday I went shopping all afternoon, and late into the night, with Deveney, the that used to work at IROC with me.  We had such a great time, and it was almost scary how similar we are, including eery weaknesses for Golden s reruns and Ellen Degeneres.  We talked about everything over the course of the day, and I think we both opened up about severely more personal stuff than either of us would normally do.  I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we are so alike that we couldn't really judge the other if we wanted to.  We've both been through so much in the past, and in a way it creates a bond for us.  But at the same time, we just joke and kid about everything constantly.  It was one of the better times I've had hanging out with anybody from around here, and I sure hope we do again soon.  But once again, we're both so busy right now that neither of us has much time for that sort of thing.  Well, I guess I'll have a lot more time for it after Friday.  I have to get going now.  So many presents to wrap and snacks to plan.  It's going to be an interesting month...  Oh yeah, and Mom and Dad worked out their problems and have been creepily better than ever; almost like best friends, or some crap.  Sheesh, makes me want to shiver!
December 27, 2005
Let's see...  Mom and Dad are in this contant back and forth thing of getting divorced and being best friends.  Frankly, I'm just tired of talking about it with anyone.  I had my surgery.  It looked really good before the major swelling set in, and hopefully will return to that in a few weeks, but for now, my thighs look almost the same as before I had surgery, but with giant scars going from my knees to my crotch, and spreading around the perimeter.  It has only been a couple of weeks, but already the entire scar has sealed shut except for one tiny spot, which will probably heal later and larger than the rest of it.  The only part I'm a little worried about is when I finally get my brace, I hope the pressure from the scar tissue doesn't hurt my leg too much.  I just worked out for the second day in a row (maybe a little against doctor's orders), and the pressure on the leg machine hurt quite a bit, but I guess that's to be expected.  I mean, I am still very just-out-of-surgeryish.  Tonight I'm having dinner with a friend I haven't seen in years, before he heads back to school.  I hung out with Bruno the other day, and man, does he ever look run down.  He told me he hasn't had a day off for two months, but he's making a lot of money.  It's a little weird because now when he speaks Portuguese, he throws Spanish words in all the time because of the Mexican guys he lives with.  Deveney and I are probably going to have dinner this Friday night if she has time.  I haven't seen her in a couple of weeks, but I guess her aunt died, so she's been having a bad time with that.  I sure hope I can cheer her up.  Well, a whole bunch of foreign kids from all different parts of the world just started talking to me, so you know I gotta take that international influence where I can get it!

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