It’s funny how you can just feel a connection to its deepest level with another person, though you haven’t seen them in forever…and you still haven’t seen them.  A letter, an email, a phone call can reconnect you to levels you had started to question had ever existed. 

 

I sit here

Thinking of forever

Alanis is humming in another room

And all I can think is…

 

Nothing comes to mind

It’s existence of the soul

It’s love that’s not expressible

And yet, it’s pain

 

It’s sickening to think of the past

And where it has gotten me today

It’s an endless cycle of ups and downs

Of rights and wrongs that will never stop

 

Will never go away

It’s the sense of guilt when you pass someone on the street

And never make eye contact

It’s the lack of what we could have had together as two human beings in the same world

 

As my tears start to well

I think of why I am different from you

Am I higher than you, or is it the other way around

Does it really matter anyway

 

Yes

It matters because it will affect tomorrow, and where we go from here

But it won’t affect us so much as when it affects the fact

That our great-grandchildren won’t build dirt towns together because of it

 

Because we didn’t connect as people

Then tomorrow doesn’t have a chance

We are doomed to exist in this golden prison

Where I pass you on the street and never glance at you

 

“And why don’t I” I ask myself

Because you, the person I should love,

May judge me to be lower than you

And that is why I’ll keep my eyes on the ground when I pass you

 

That is why tomorrow

I’ll still think you weird when you stare at me

Instead of asking

Why you didn’t approach me