The Fat Crawler Experience

Photos (Post-op)

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Living la vida loca doesn't even begin to describe it.

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Finally my own place!

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Cara still keeps yelling at me that my clothes are too big.  She may be right, ha ha.

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First day in my own apartment.  I moved to the condo six weeks later.

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I should have her babies!

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This is like my new most favorite pic ever... well, for today at least!

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What's with the big doe eyes in this picture?  Spookaaaaay!

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My brother, Curt, is an idiot!

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Why yes, I am a gay cowboy... but only on club nights!

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I haven't seen this pic in a while.  This ensemble definitely needs to come out of retirement!

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I have the best man-boobs in the biz!  (...totally beat Chunk from Goonies!)

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Of course, red isn't bad either...

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These are the first pics since my tummy tuck. Woooo...

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Worst. Headshots. Ever.

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Now presenting... ta daa da da boom boom... my spring wardrobe for 2005!

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That's it! Those giant, sagging man-boobs have just got to go!

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If you worked for Mexx, wouldn't you want to hire me as a model? I could head up the "Fat Guy in a Wheelchair" department!

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I'm sure you didn't notice that my eyes were closed in this picture, right? (He he ahoo...)

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Finally a smiling picture that I like!

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My friend, Shanna, runs the pizza place in my town.  Lucky girl!

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Working on the computer...how exciting!

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It's been years since I could fit into a jean jacket!

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This sweater looked so much better on the rack...

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Maybe this randomly passing bassethound will hide my body!

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Thank the lawd for Kike, or I wouldn't have had a place to stay for a week in Mexico.  My hero!

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Okay, why do I look so cross-eyed in pictures? I am not cross-eyed! I swear! At least I don't think I am...

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Here's my friend, Ninfa, who must be Katherine Zeta-Jones' twin sister... She swears the rumors are not true.

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"Frijolero con nombre gringolero!" ...inside joke.

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I had so much fun with Sanne.  She knows she wants me!

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Oh baby, so sexy!

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Another feeble attempt at disproving the scepticism surrounding my mental stability...

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Noa... should really be modelling.  And she has the coolest tatoos I've ever seen!

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An afternoon with my old chorus class.  It was like a reunion!

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I just love it when friends, like Lalo here, make weird faces right before the flash goes off.  That's sarcasm in case you can't tell!

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Here I am with Joe (left, making that hilarious face), Paula (from Spain, met that night), some guy from the suite, and Kike (my old suite mate from before).

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I've actually been told this picture looks nothing like me.  I like it anyway!

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Don't worry.  We only got a little smashed...

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Okay, I was completely sober for this pic with Anita... at least I think I was.

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But I was plastered out of my mind for this one.  Ah, c'est la vie!

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Is it just me, or are my clothes getting just a little too tight?

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These two pics were just a joke to see how thin I could make my face look with the right angle and right amount of cheek sucking.

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I really like this picture.  I'll probably recant later, but for now this is probably my favorite body shot.

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Cool, calm, and collected?

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Rosy cheeks, no warts...

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J. Lo, Beyonce, Ja Rule, Shakira, Outkast?

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Danny: Corrupting the minds of innocent people everywhere since 1981.

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Who let in the walrus?

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My brand new sweater.  I can be preppie now!

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I am getting sleepy.  Very sleepy...

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Does he ever stop singing?  Not bloody likely!

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I don't even have to suck in my cheeks anymore!

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Chasin' dragons with a plastic sword...

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I swear I'm not going wanksta... my clothes are just too big!

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It's tough learning to walk again, but I'm making progress every day.

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A quiet evening at home.  Now there's something rare.

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Look at that round face!  I need to get my fat ass to the gym!

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A few words come to mind... bumpy, dumpy, lumpy, grumpy, and frumpy.

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I'm always this happy.  What are you talking about?!?!?

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This is my first post-op pic while standing.  I can actually stand up straight for more than five seconds!

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All wet after sweating to the oldies and dancing my pants off!

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Me and Mel just hanging out.  Aren't we just so adorable?

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Going south for the winter?  So are my arms, thighs, and torso!

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Only four more pounds until I'm in the Century Club.  I'm sick of waiting.  I want it now!

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I like every picture I take just a little bit more.

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Yo, yo, diggy yo, beyo---okay, I'm not really a rapper...

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Did somebody say exercise?

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Who would have thought losing 84 pounds would feel so good?

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I swear the dog did it!

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Am I shrinking or are my clothes getting bigger?

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Aren't we just the cutest little things?  *smirk*

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It's the curse of The Double Chin!  Is there no escape?!?!?

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What the hell am I grimacing about?

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Ahh, there's the money shot!

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I was quite swollen in the hospital due to fluids, but you can see a little better just how big I had gotten toward the end after going on a "Last Supper Syndrome" binge.

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I'm ready for my close-up!  About three weeks out here.

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Things that make ya go "huh".

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My brother Thomas' (in red) wedding day.  I was best man!  Our neighbor growing up, Chris, is on the right.

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Can't decide if I love or hate this picture.

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Look what having a broken car does to a guy in a wheelchair!

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The queer ring was a bit much. It's gone now. (God, I'm such a tard sometimes!)

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I just pretended to be retarded so Deveney wouldn't feel so alone.

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Those colors lasted about six days. Idiot is as idiot does.

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Yeah, that's me standing there... with my new leg brace!

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My little sister, Camisha... she's just so cute, oogy boogy... ok, she would punch me if she read that.

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That tall guy's crack is showing!  NOOooooo...

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God, I'm such a retard.

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"I pledge allegiance to the camera..."

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Wait!  When did I start using a wheelchair?!?

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I was actually considering growing my hair out again until I saw these pictures.  *Yech*.

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Can you say "Fat Zombie in a Wheelchair"?  Oh yes, right on the money.

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This is definitely the best body pic I've taken in a very long time.

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I love new clothes so much! I'm sure it's a healthy obsession, though.

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Pink is the new orange!  Or green, or blue, or something like that.

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Almost looks like a J.Lo video, huh? Mmm, not so much!

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Another former Home Page pic.  Again, I feel so much thinner than this old pic so I had to change it again!

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Speaking of pizza... oh, I would never eat that evil stuff!  Mwahahaha...

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Who knew work could be artsy fartsy?

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Amber is thinking about having gastric bypass.  Isn't she beautiful?  She should be modelling or something, but she's so shy!

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I said, "Let's make funny faces!"  She refused.  I did it anyway.

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Don't I look cool in a James Dean sort of way?...mmm, not so much.

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That's better.  Hide those sagging man boobs!

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Me?  Obsessed with mirrors?  Never!

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Having drinks with Cara in the zocalo.  What could be better than that?

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Tanya is great, and her parents have a house not five miles from mine.  Can't wait for her to visit me!

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Michal and Adi were my roomies in Oaxaca.

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Even though I've known her for years, I have no idea what this girl's name is.  But don't I look great?

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Getting scared yet?

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These guys are cool... enough.  Just kidding!  In the other pic, the guy on the right was giving me bunny ears.  'Nuf said.

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Veronika and I had the best time going to the museum together.  She's from Austria and I miss her so much!

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I hung out a lot with Judith (pronounced Hoo-Deet).  Let's just say she's a great drinkin' buddy...

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There's nothing like posing in front of random scenery!

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This is the audition picture Cara and I are going to use to join the NYC ballet company.  Oh wait, it's just a weird angle of us sitting in a bar.  My mistake...

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I love getting drunk with my British friends!  They were the only ones who ever got any of my jokes!

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However, I was drunk out of my gourd for this pic!

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And this one... hee hee.

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The first picture of myself since I came back from Mexico.  You may notice the slightest change in my demeanor...

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Don't I look innocent in this white shirt?  FOOLS!  Mwahahahaha......

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I didn't, however, expect them to come out looking quite so thin... or creepy!

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Somebody get me out of this insane asylum...

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Who am I kidding?  I'm so sunburned I could pose for Red Lobster!

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Gnarly.  Radical.  Tubular.  Bodacious.  I do not say these words enough during my day.

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Does it really matter?

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Here I am with Tameika.  She's spoiled rotten to the core, but I still love her!

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I'm so excited.  And I just can't hide it.

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These are the tightest pants I've ever worn... and I love it!!!

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It's my new spring wardrobe!

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Hey, if it ain't Doc from Back to the Future!

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Finally standing with a leg brace.  It may be painful, but a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

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Check out Danny, everybody wants more...

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Doo - doo - do, do, doo - doo...

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So for now, at least, I still sit...

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Hmmmm......

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I can stand up straight and there's no belly hanging out the bottom of my t-shirt!

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I can even strike a pose... er, sort of.

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Moody?  I'm not in a bad mood!  Why is everybody always against me?  WAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

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My life has improved in so many ways.  Now all I need is a hot chick!  Ha!

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Man, those leg lifts are hard!

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Ninety-nine pounds gone.  How bizarre...

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Opera singer or person with severe mental disabilities?  Probably a little of both...

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Do I make you horny, baby?  Do I?

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Just living the life fantastic!

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Even I'm beginning to see a difference!

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A size 3X sweatshirt and a pair of men's jeans.  Who says the little things in life don't matter?

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I will now tell the future.  I see myself eating something fattening and feeling like crap for an hour...

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Me, Mel, and Mel (Melissa and Melanie) singing Alanis Morrissette songs.  We're so vindictive!

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I'm too sexy for this shirt.  (Uhhh, whatever you say, man.)

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"Danny, go into the light!"

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Oh the humanity!

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Oh yeah, I just found out that I've lost 70 pounds!  (But why do I look like the Crocodile Hunter?)

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My name is Danny.  I like romantic songs and long walks on the beach...

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So calm.  So pensive.  So secretly planning the inner demise of all HUMANKIND AS WE KNOW IT!  MWAHAHAHahahahaha.....  (Oops, did I just write that out loud?)

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Didn't you just want to see a picture of me half-dead?

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Had enough yet?  No?  Well, keep scrollin'!

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I can't really see much of a difference, but the scales say I've lost around fifty pounds.

Still haven't seen enough?  Well, go here!

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