September 15, 2003

 

They did it again and I for one will no longer stand by without taking action.  Today "Doctor" Phil McGraw called the surgery, and I am quoting, "another quick easy fix".  I have had it.  I am not only going to sit here and complain about what he said, but I am going to do something about it.  This week alone I have talked with people both in my area and online about a few specific reasons that people do not get this surgery or why they are so quiet about it.  The first is simply because one said person "doesn't know much about it".  At first I found this hard to believe, but the more I thought about it the more I realized just how right this statement was.  Unless someone goes looking for information specifically online, it is nearly impossible to find information about weight loss surgery.  It's a crime that this isn't plastered on every street corner in America, but the media refuses to touch the subject.  Of course it doesn't help when every other talk show host is calling it the easy way out, but it is not easy.  I puke and have diarrhea on a daily basis.  I was in bed for weeks suffering from severe pain and pulled muscles.  Even now it is not easy to lose weight.  I still have to watch what I eat and if I don't, I will get sick.  The only reason I haven't quit this way of eating is because I can't.  Quite simply, that is the idea to start with.  If you are pre-op, pay especially close attention right here.  THIS IS NOT EASY!  You are going to throw up.  You are going to get sick.  You are going to have lots of physical pain.  You are going to have lots of emotional pain, even more than before because now you have to deal with things.  You are going to have moments of regret.  You are going to plateau, possibly for weeks on end, wondering if your weight will ever be lower than it is.  You are not going to be thin overnight.  You are not going to be ideal in six months.  The lower your weight before surgery, the slower you will lose it.  The higher your weight is, the longer you are going to have to wait for it to go down.  Exercise is essential for this to work.  If you do not exercise, you will not lose as fast or as much.  There is a possibility of gaining some, and rarely all, of the weight back.  Most people never reach their ideal weight.  Only a small percentage ever do, and an even smaller percentage will stay at that weight.  This is not a cure-all for your looks.  If you are ugly before surgery, you will be ugly after surgery.  If you are beautiful before surgery, you will be beautiful after surgery.  There is a slight possibility that you will have this surgery and never lose weight.  It is a very minimal risk, but it is a risk.  If your weight is significantly high, you will probably need some reconstructive surgery performed when the weightloss has slowed or stopped.  There is nothing easy about this.  The only differences between these results and the results of diets, no matter the genre, are that the success rate of weightloss is astronomically higher in comparison and patients have the ability to keep the weight off for years.  You may not have the same results.  However, for the most-part this surgery is highly successful.  It is more dangerous if you have more co-morbidities, and as with any surgery, there is a chance of death.  The chance for death is in the area of one percent of all patients.  Depending on where surgery is performed in your area, this rate may be higher or lower.  At my hospital it was significantly lower (only one person out of over six hundred).  But I am sick and tired of television personalities that have never had a serious weight problem (or at least in recent history) putting down this surgery publicly just because they may have some prejudiced and preconceived notion that it is not only morbid, but immoral.  The only reason I can find that they may believe these things is this: They are confusing success with ease.  They believe that because one can lose weight without a monstrous battle that will inevitably fail that it must be easy.  If I can't give in to my cravings then it must be easy.  If I don't deprive myself of the things I want then it must be easy.  And what is wrong with easy, anyway?  Haven't we all suffered enough already by being trapped in this hell?  I know that I have.  There are also the criteria that I have mentioned before.  The doctors do not give this surgery to just anybody with a self-image problem.  The people who have it are suffering and are in a health crisis with no other viable solutions.  I will not sit here and be badgered by the media for choosing to change my life and I will not allow other people to suffer anymore either.  Today I called the Wellness Center at my local hospital and offered to give a talk and discussion about gastric bypass surgery.  I am going to prepare myself, both mind and body, with the presentation that will hopefully help some of the people in my area to improve their lives.  I may even get a cheap transport going so that people can get to the hospital where they do the official meetings.  I would also like to start a support group for people going through this process.  There is nothing of the sort in this area and I think it's about time there was.  Another reason that was expressed to me is the concern that "in [her] area no one has ever had it done and everyone is against it".  I lived through this.  Before surgery every person I knew felt it their duty to tell me some horror story that had happened to some person they had never met.  I called one of these people that was supposed to be in insufferable pain after having surgery because I was tired of hearing it from others and wanted the account firsthand.  The stories were, not surprisingly, completely unfounded and exaggerated beyond recognition.  I know this can seem like something to be ashamed about, but I have come to learn that it's not.  I am damn proud of my scar, my success, and the fact that I can now be a success story for those people to replace their made up ones.  I am now the example that others want to follow and that is how you should look at it if you are in a similar situation.  Others have had concerns about what their families would think.  I was this person also.  I didn't mention the surgery for over two years because I was afraid of what my family might think.  Finally my mother suggested it to me (though she may have had regrets about it later on *LOL*).  Many in my immediately family believed every rumor.  They came to me pleading for me not to go through with it.  They were all certain that if I didn't die, I would at least be horribly disfigured.  Of course either of those could happen, but that can also happen while having teeth pulled.  It can happen by tripping down a flight of stairs.  It can happen by getting into a car accident.  The ultimate decision for me came down to these questions I had to ask myself.  Am I willing to spend the rest of my life in this condition or worse?  Personally, I would have rather died than know that there would be no hope.  Did the benefits outweigh the risks?  This one took more time, but I promptly came to a resounding yes.  How much was I willing to sacrifice in the way of personal relationships?  This one was a bit tougher, but I decided that if someone I knew could only befriend at extremely obese levels then I don't need that person for a friend anyway.  And finally, Am I willing to give up the parts of me that will never be the same?  This was the hardest to answer.  I had never been anything but fat.  I did not know how my life would change if I wasn't any longer.  Would my personality change?  It certainly seemed like a lot of post-op patients had (both bad and good).  Would I be willing to give up my loneliness and seclusion that I had become so familiar and comfortable in?  It took a long time, but I decided that all of these suggestions were acceptable even if I wasn't anxious for all of them to occur.  Have I changed all that much up until now?  I don't think I have, but one can never really judge one's own character.  Of course I am still in the fairly early stages of this process, so I suppose there is still plenty of time for me to turn into an asshole!  But these concerns have stopped so many people from progressing into a happier, healthier life.  I can't sit by and watch it happen to others when I know there is something I could do about it.  I wish someone had approached me and talked to me about it before.  Lawd knows they did with every other solution!  I also urge you to do the same, especially if you are a post-op.  You don't have to run out and start a group or even tell every person you meet about your surgery, but when you can see the pain in somebody else's eyes as they are trying to look inconspicuous because their feet hurt from standing so long in the grocery line, say hello and get to know them.  Confide in them your little (or not so little) secret.  Show them that there is a way.  If you know of someone but don't want to approach them, casually walk up to one of their friends or relatives and introduce yourself.  We have to do something about this stereotype that is letting thousands of people each year die and stifle what could have been happy and beautiful lives.  You can also start writing letters to some of these shows about their policies and anti-promotion of surgery.  Two prime examples would be the Dr. Phil show and the Oprah show.  Let them know what you really think of their uninformed opinions.  I know I am tired of this segregation, humiliation, and public ridicule over my choice to improve my life.  It is my right and my life and I am tired of these pompous windbags talking about a subject they are just not informed about while in the process discourging hundreds, if not thousands, of people from making the choice that could have saved their lives.