The Fat Crawler Experience

Journal (March 2005)

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My Journal for March 2005

March 11, 2005
Fiber, fiber, the musical fruit!  The more I eat, the more I... (oh nevermind, it's disgusting.)  Yes, for the last three days I have been indulging in large amounts of fiber and avoiding bad foods like crazy.  It's amazing how I feel so different.  I actually craved oatmeal last night.  Those first couple days are always the hardest, but after that (like right now) I couldn't imagine eating all that crap I was eating before.  It's so odd how I keep slipping back into those bad habits, especially when I have moments of clarity, such as right now.  Pizza?  Ewww...  The very thought of it makes me feel sick to my stomach.  Chips?  I haven't had them in weeks.  With all the fruit I've been eating, I don't even crave those bad sugars anymore.  The only downfall is that fiber, as aforementioned, makes me toot...  But I feel thinner, whether it's my imagination or not, than I have in a really long time.  I've also been doing crunches after a recommendation from my new physical therapist.  He's a really nice guy, smart, but not afraid to joke around.  He gave me some exercises to do because my back's been in so much pain.  I wouldn't have thought some simple, easy to do, exercise would make much of a difference, but it's only been a couple of days, and my back's amazingly improved.  I'm actively thinking about how I sit, and it feels so much better.  And tonight is karaoke at a new, never-before-seen, location!!!  I'm quivering with excitement!  Okay, perhaps quivering is too strong a word, but I can't wait to "dazzle" an all new crowd.  So wish me luck as I shake my groove thang!

March 24, 2005


La vita e bella, or so it would seem these days.  I've been managing the car wash operation at The Garage, making a ton of money (at least by my standards) and have lost over half of the weight I had gained in the process.  For about four days now, I've been dancing on the side of the street like the fool that we all know I am, shaking my groove thang and what not, catching some rays, so that I can make some money.  I had gained nine pounds since I was at my lowest weight last summer of 242 right after I had come back from Mexico, so I decided to go back on liquids for a couple of days.  It was an excruciating experience.  I was having bad stomach pains by the end of the second day, but I think it was a good thing I did it.  Since I started eating again, it's almost like it was right after I had had the surgery.  I can only eat a little bit of food, and when I do, I get pretty sick.  I think my stomach may have shrunk a little bit during those two days, and that's exactly what I was hoping would happen.  So combined lower amounts of eating and my greatly increased activities of street dancing and car washing, have caused me to lose five pounds in the last four days.  That is great news, and I think I've finally found a way to break my plateau.  I hope to be in the 230s by some time next week.  Hell, I should be able to reach a weightloss goal of 200 pounds within a few weeks, which is all really good news in the area of my upcoming plastic surgery.  I'm also getting a killer tan and making a lot of money, so things just seem to be going fantastic for me.  And yesterday I had to drive to Burlington to get fitted for a new wheelchair.  While I was heading into the office, I glanced to my right and did a double-take when I saw a from highschool I hadn't seen in nearly ten years.  Her name is Mary and she looked exactly the same as the last time I saw her.  She moved away my Freshman or Sophomore year, and I never thought I would see her again.  It's so weird because I had the biggest crush on her for a long time.  I didn't really know her that well.  We just ate lunch together sometimes and were in chorus class together.  She remembered my name, but I could tell that she couldn't remember much more.  It was a little awkward because I remembered her so much more than she did me.  But I didn't mind.  I, of course, didn't have any of those feelings for her yesterday, but it's kind of bizarre running into someone that meant so much to you once upon a time, and now they're just another person sitting behind a desk in an office, and you don't really know anything about what kind of person they are anymore.  Then I went to the mall.  I got some amazing clothes there that were on sale.  I'm trying to update my wardrobe a little bit to try and be more .  I think it's time to stop looking so eleventh grade and start dressing a little more proffesionally.  Of course I don't want to be in a tie and jacket, but I picked up some nice cotton pants that were a size 36.  They have an elastic waist, but they fit like a glove.  I also got two dress shirts.  They look so cool on me!  They're striped and slendering (I hope!), and just make me look older, I think.  Anyway, they certainly make me look classier and more stylish.  And as an added bonus, I flirted with the check-out .  Her name is Vanessa.  She's really bubbly and very attractive.  She told me she was so happy because she was getting off of work in fifteen minutes, so I asked her if she wanted to grab something to eat with me in the mall.  She said she would love to, but that she already had other plans that she didn't really have time for.  I said maybe some other time, and she said definitely.  Burlington is pretty far away, but maybe if I'm down there again soon, I can at least pop in and ask for her phone number.  And then I went to the candy store (I know, bad move) to pick up some gourmet jelly beans.  There is this there that I always sort of flirt with, and she always brightens right up when she sees me (also very attractive), and I just asked her her name, finally, and joked around with her a bit.  I only wish I had had all of this new-found confidence when I was going to college down there.  Of course I was a lot fatter back then, and certainly more self-concious, not to mention how hard it was to physically get out, but I could have had so much fun!  If I didn't live so far away, I would have at least asked one of those s out formally!  Well, in a year or so, Heather and I are kicking the idea around of either moving to Boston or Burlington together, so I'll certainly be doing a lot of dating when that happens... if I don't end up moving sooner.  I guess I'll just have to wait and see how things go.  After all of these plastic surgeries are done, the world's doors are going to open up so much more to me.  But hey!  At least I'm peeking through the keyholes right now!  Who know?  Maybe I'll go ask that Vanessa out.  It's a long drive, but I'm not going to be young forever.  I might as well get out there and give it all I've got!  And baby, I've got a lot to give.




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